You just haven't earned it yet, baby.
"Everything that I love in life is killing me, 'cause it's bad for my health."
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If you eat enough cake it tastes like love.
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I really like this picture and I’m going to post it lots because it makes me feel good. Okay.
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Self-harm awareness
[I don’t know if this will trigger anyone. I’m sorry if it does.]
My girlfriend is a self-harmer, although she has not cut for...
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Self Injury Awareness Day
Today is self injury awareness day, so show your support and wear an orange ribbon and, if you are ready, talk to your...
Happy playlist on Grooveshark for Android: http://grooveshark.com/playlist/Happy+playlist/86518971
One of the tips in the DBT skills book was to create a playlist for when I’m down. Here it is. :) always open to suggestions for additions!
Still pretty shit today, in all honesty. Just. You know. Existing. I’m here, I wish I weren’t, etc etc.
The weather is shit, which doesn’t help. Britainnia may well rule the waves, but we’re also the wettest country in the fucking world (except Oirland, of course.)
Not in a good place, really.
Oh, and I came close to taking an overdose.
Lesson of the day? Never tell a borderline you’re leaving them.
Rowed with Dan. Cut. Not deep, but arms and legs. Scared him, I think. I also thought the EUPD was at bay, but this just shows that it’s always there, lurking just below the surface.
Now I’m tired, sore and guilty. The upper arms and thighs look a bit rubbish. Eurgh. When will I learn?
Just got in the bath. OUCH.
Thinking about death again. It would just be so much easier..
- Starved
- Purged
- Binged
- Self Harmed
- Been depressed
- Been suicidal
- Attempted suicide
- I will follow every fucking one of you.
Death would be much easier. It’s sad, but I wish I could slip away, not affecting anyone with my passing. Everything would go on without me.
Such a selfish cunt.
Depression coming on.
Today, I have been mostly feeling:
- suicidal;
- worthless;
- sad;
- hopeless;
- anxious;
- angry.
I have had two slices of toast all day. I’ve been in bed since two o’clock this afternoon. I’ve cut.
I just want to not exist. Is that so much to ask?
When people ask what I’m going to do with my degree, I feel like telling them, “nothing, I’m hoping I’ll soon be hit by a car or killed in some other way.”
I don’t know how anyone can look into my eyes and come to any other conclusion. My ‘life’ has no meaning. I exist. My body functions, but my mind is flawed. I should really just end it, but essentially I’m too frightened to leave my Mutti and Vati. They’d blame themselves.